Relationships need our nurturing in order to thrive. It is not just enough to love someone. It takes work to keep a relationship healthy. Certain behaviors of ours can affect our relationships, taking them from a happy, healthy place to a dark and miserable place.
The fact is, many people create relationship disorders from the behavior they learned in either childhood or adulthood. However, recognizing the patterns and unhealthy actions is critical in fostering healthy and loving relationships in your future.
In other words, you are not doomed to ruin every relationship you have as long as you keep an eye on your actions because they speak much louder than the words that you say.
According to relationship experts, these are the most common behaviors that can cause relationship disorders and lead to the demise of relationships.
1. Avoiding problems
No one likes to have an unpleasant conversation, but no relationship will be all sunshine and rainbows every day. As difficult as it may be to broach a challenging subject, you have to just take a deep breath and approach it in a kind and loving way. Avoiding things that upset you will only eat away at you and could cause to explode somewhere down the line.
2. Creating negativity out of nothingness
Often, people who have had abusive relationships in the past or difficulties during childhood will draw negativity out of nothing at all. Negativity breeds negative actions and consequences.
If you think negatively about every action of your partner such as, “He did not say he loved me when he texted. He must hate me now,” instead of looking at the reality of how he messaged you while he was busy at work, you are making a mountain out of a molehill. It will take some practice, but you must shift your thinking to a more positive point of view.
3. Becoming completely addicted to love
Addicts of love often become completely obsessed with their partners. Everything you do is for that person and you do not act on anything for yourself. Instead, you overanalyze every word, action and potential thought of your partner.
While it is healthy to think of your partner in order to be considerate to a degree, when you have a love addiction, you neglect yourself. You do not have a life of your own. Make sure you still pursue your own interests.
Schedule time with your own friends too. Doing things for yourself like this will also have a bonus side effect: it will make you even more attractive to your partner.
4. Expecting perfection
There is nothing in the world that is completely perfect. Everyone and everything has a flaw. If you hold your partner up to unrealistic expectations of perfection, you are going to be very disappointed.
Let go of this rigid thinking and accept the flaws in your partner as well as in yourself and you will become a much happier person for it.
If any of these behaviors sound familiar to you, the good news is that it is never too late to make a change. So show yourself some love and embrace that change. Have you ever exhibited any of these behaviors?